Halloween Movie Plots Rewritten For Moms

by Wendy Marcus · October 29, 2016

The Conjuring: Child forgets he has a report due tomorrow so mom throws together a passing project.

The Exorcist: Three year old wakes up the middle of the night requesting juice in a blue sippy cup but mom has forgotten to go to the grocery store or run the dishwasher.

Friday the Thirteenth: The school district unknowingly set an in-service day on the same day of mom’s work meeting.

The Grudge: Tired of picking up after her husband, a mother’s resentments come to a head as she smothers him with a pillow in his sleep.

Hellraiser: Parents decide to go ahead and have that third kid.

It Follows: Mom makes it to the bathroom alone and sits on toilet only to discover a little hand waving under the door.

Jaws: A breastfeeding mother discovers her infant has grown teeth.

Pet Sematary: Child digging in backyard learns that Rover and Fluffy did not leave to go live on a farm.

Psycho: Mom forgot to take her Xanax again; hilarity ensues.

The Purge: While on a hunt for her daughter’s favorite stuffed animal, a mother steps on a lego. Enraged, she finally loses it and throws out every toy in the playroom.

The Ring: Mom finds out that dad went with cubic zirconia.

The Uninvited: Mom’s extended family shows up for Thanksgiving dinner.

28 Days Later: Uh-oh….moms on her period again!

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Wendy Marcus

I am a non-pinterest, domestically challenged working mother of three kids under the age of ten. Tired of today's hyper-vigilant and one-size-fits-all parenting, I have decided to be the face of a new movement where we celebrate and value those mediocre moments of motherhood instead of obsessing about some random standard of perfection. I strive to be a superhero, freeing other moms from these societal stresses and pressures. I desire to have my voice heard to effectuate change in parenting standards and attitudes.

I am mediocre mom!